End of tis semester

At long last, time to update my dusty blog.

It has been a long long semester, but I am glad [glad is kinda an understatement. I am much much more elated and happier than just plain glad! ] that it has come to an end. Even though…somehow, part of me do not want this to end that quickly, and another joyful part of me is just liking the way as it is. I am an indecisive creature of the night [sometimes the day], so please bear with me.

I have just finished packing my 1001 things [being me, it's normal] in around 7-9 boxes, sorted some in my luggage, and I am off to Kuching tomorrow morning! How’s that? [winks winks]. For those who are still having papers, ha…I truly am sorry for you, and I wish you all the best and continue to fight hard and… all the best for your remaining papers! To those like me, happy hols and may you have a blessed journey back!

I went to church this afternoon, and I really want to thank God for giving me a chance to enjoy Pastor’s last sermon of the year. [I have been skipping Sunday service almost the whole of this semester. Feel so regretful...I pray that next sem this won't happen again!] Today’s service as usual, was filled with laughter and I felt extremely happy seeing all my beloved seniors before they leave for intern, and some are leaving for good [quoting Livvy's words]. Watching how Sebaz and Tirza teasing one another [this one we wait until Tirza has her first flu, then we shall know what has happened] , Vinod and other worship team members during the worship, Josiah and Renae together [ahem2], that Joel and Steph together [another ahem2], Hamster Hanjim [? Ning, if you are reading this, Jim is being called as Hamster in COP already, note the uppercase of the letter 'H'], how Ollie laughed loudly while sitting next to me and me laughing uncontrollably along, Gabby imitating Russell Peters [ do the right thing], Arnold with his silent mutterings, Pastor as comical as ever [ people with super uber sad and gloomy faces have these significant 'papaya' look], Lil Henry as faithfully as ever is the technical person of the church with Joel and Gabby accompanying him, Raymond as always trying to look cool, Stella like super hyper today, Isabel and Jeremy together [another ahem ahem3], and others in the church as well – love is simply so apparent .

All of that kinda reminded me of my first love in UTP- it’s the love of my beloved Christian families in the university never fails to make me feel really warm inside. Singing together during worship, sitting together listening to pastor’s funny yet impactful sermon, and watching funny feats performed by overly-stressed-out-seniors and laughing along with some funny, and some not-so-funny [it's funny because it's meant to be funny but when it doesn't work, it really becomes funny because it isn't funny yet somehow it is supposed to be funny. So, it's funny in a way]

One lesson of the day, do not boast of tomorrow, rather think of today as preached by James in the Bible. So, I must think more of the today I am living in rather than the uncertain tomorrow I might or might not be living in. Hence peeps, do not think too much of tomorrow. Live for today, worry not about the next day!

I will be having a rather long holiday…Am hoping to spend my time more with my PHP, Java, and also my God . Of course, if all studies only, my life sure not meaningful at all. I have downloaded the American Next Top Model series, and other movies and series to entertain me throughout the hols. Plus I have brought back some  unread novels that I bought during BookFair in my university. In my laptop itself, I have like 20 E-books and most of them are interesting novels and classics. My hols are gonna be real relaxing I hope, hee!

So, peeps, pray for my journey mercies back home tomorrow and I shall see you all next semester! Until then, dear readers, have a good day and be merry!!! >.<

*P.S. 1: I better sleep early tonight. For a week I didn’t sleep properly. And I HAVE SO MANY PIMPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*P.S  2: I got kuih bahulu!! Awesome, no need buy any breakfast tomorrow. Save my money!!

*P.S  3: To Ollie AND Ning, Gambateh ah!!!

*P.S  4: To my ICT fwens, happy hols and shall miss you all! My gewes and some of my ICT guy fwens also

ADD MORE OIL

3 MORE PAPERS TO GO BEFORE GOING BACK!!! ADD MORE OIL, GAL, YOU CAN DO IT! HEH!

Thank you

Footsteps of time @ Toki No Ashi oto – Kobukuro

[watch at Youtube]

In season of partings, there is a short-lived flower.
Everybody is searching for the same warmth of the wind and walking on.
Meetings are flowing under the hazy clouds in the sky.
They are overlapping like hands on a clock.
Slowly, slowly, slowly
Starting to turn.

If you are the hour hand, then I am the minute hand.
If we are showing the same time,
No matter how many times we pass each other, we’ll meet.
Even if we walk different paths, if we paint the same future,
It will be okay, we will start over from the same place again.

“Even if I did my best, it’s still no good…”
“Even if you lost, you did well, okay?”
Words give water to the various seeds i received in my heart.

After the long winter, a dream blooms in the short spring.
Among the seeds that collect in the heart,
which will get light to grow?
In the shadow of the sidewalk blooms a flower,
For who is it there for?
But whoever it’s for, it will shine and it will shine on you.

Thoughts change to words, Words calls out the light,
Light makes shadows, people become stronger because of the shadows.
Strength changes to kindness, Kindness calls out the meeting
The meeting makes the path, and on this path, thoughts are engraved.

If the hour hand stops, then the minute hand will stop.
Things that are shared through the same pain
Before you know it, they’ll turn into joy.

Everyone has one person, one moment, one second, one chance where they can’t turn
back time
Without living life hesitatingly, searching for those kinds of meetings
Alone, once, one moment, one second, one chance.
I’m glad we finally met.

This is a beautiful Japanese song, specially dedicated to everyone that I know. Thank God for you all. To those who are having examination soon, all the best, and to those who are leaving, God bless and stay healthy!

This was drawn specially for those seniors in the Church of Praise (COP) who are leaving soon; that is either graduating or leaving for 8 months of internship. Thank you for being my supportive seniors and I am sorry if I didn’t spend much time with you people this semester. Nonetheless, I pray for your good health and that you will keep the fire for God going! All the best and take care!

Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God, my Savior- Habakkuk 3:18.

Tonight

Sorry for this decision. But it’s for the best of the club.

Lord, grant me strength for this.

Sigh

Things have not been going on well these days. I had scolded one of my committee vehemently last Tuesday, and scowled terribly in front of my other executive committee for at least thirty minutes, before finally I calmed down and found enough senses to seek patience and rationality instead of dwelling in unquenchable anger. I was generally very calm and cool with my club members even though many things went wrong during last week, until something in me just snapped when the high-and-mighty lady raised her voice at me.  Sigh…again, my own folly of not keeping my terrible temper at check.

This semester and the coming semester will prove to be hard and unexceptionally trying on me. I wonder if I could  really be a good leader. Not that I give up easily (I am known to be a person who won’t rest until she gets what she wants) , but part of me is already tired with all these trying-to-please-others antics. I wish I could be more open with my own feelings, but then, thinking and knowing that not everyone shares the same feelings like I do- to display disagreeable behaviors and ex cetera are certainly not  wise.  I might just as well, play with time, and pray to the Lord that things will get better.

Sigh. But still I am uncertain. I am kind of worrying if my softness or politeness or whatever-the-thing it is will one day ruin every decision I am about to make or take.  Plenty of what ifs and what nots are always constantly tugging my inner being, and my instincts keep telling me that things are not right. Perhaps it’s because of my own killing optimism and unguarded ego that prevent me from listening to my small voice in my heart. Jay was right; I  shouldn’t be too reluctant to make my mind on something and rely too much on accepting a mutual consensus  with other committee whenever a decision needs to be made. After all, so far my instincts have always been accurate. Something was really, really not right.

Right now, I need strength to do what is necessary. It will take lots of courage to do this, but I have to do whatever it takes for the club to grow. Only God knows how upset I feel when I see uncommitted people giving false promises in the club. It is as if I am watching a bunch of liars masking themselves as they move and blend in together with other more passionate members. And I grow impatient whenever I heard people complaining about wasting their own precious time when I myself am putting my heart, soul, energy, time, money and blahblahblah into this club. I wonder just how many people will be able to bear it say if they were in my shoes.  This implies explicitly how some people only know how to talk, but they hardly do any significant work and surprisingly enough, they often get away with it with much ease. Really unfair indeed!

As I heave a heavy sigh each time I ponder upon my mere and limited human capabilities and a list of other incompetencies, I realize I always need strong assurance from at least an ally to help me go on. Up till this day,I really thank God for my understanding and passionate juniors and dear Jay for being there for me whenever I need their support and advice. Most people can only watch from sidelines, not wanting to interfere in other people’s predicaments. Ah, I need to accept the fact  we live in a selfish world, that is. To hope against hope for sympathy and support from them is like wishing for the moon and stars to fall on earth. I learn this  from experience and I believe now I really want to practise cautiousness to the fullness whenever I confide my problems in anyone . It is a wastage of time to confide in those people who do not even care for  you a pence.

Oh Lord, I need strength and courage to proceed to doing whatever I should be doing. Grant me that focus and determination to do what I mean to do. Let me also be a master of my emotions, and help me realize that by allowing my temper to flare up easily and without any boundaries, I will surely be inviting troubles.

I hereby place my worries and prayers into your hands. In Jesus’ name. Amen.